Are you a Republican?
Click Here to Take the Quiz
1) A woman's place is:
in the home.
in the home, but sometimes you need a second income and she has to work.
in an office, hopefully a corner office.
in the House. And the Senate.
at my feet, screaming for mercy.
towering over me with her spike heels digging cruelly into my bleeding back.
with her sisters, working and raising strong womynchildren.
in a House, such as Madame Kitty's Home for Wayward Girls (gentlemen visitors welcome).
(None of these answers were suitable. She should be free to choose for herself in which of these she wants to be.)
Stamp out the rich!
The rich should contribute at the highest rate because it hurts them less.
Everybody should pay the same percentage.
Everybody should pay the same fixed dollar amount.
The rich should be exempt, and the poor should be shot.
(And the lower, the better.)
3) The Bush family is:
the most successful organized crime family in history.
a convenient front for the interests that hold the real power.
proof that exceptional ability is inheritable.
America's salvation in these troubled times. God is indeed on our side!
Typical of the Patriarchy.
The ultimate Republican.
Nazis and Communists... basically the same thing.
A brilliant but sadly deranged leader.
He had the right idea.
5) Social Security is:
the disastrous misstep that broke down Constitutional limits on federal responsibility and turned us from a free Republic into a welfare state.
sadly in need of increased flexibility, such as allowing individuals to opt out, or to privatize their share.
very reassuring to have around.
something you'd better not mess with if you value your skin!
the trojan horse which Congress has used to impose an ever more regressive overall tax rate.
6) Israelis vs. Palestinians. Holy crap, what do we do?
Send red heifers to Israel so as to bring the End Times nearer.
Knock over every regime in the area that doesn't make nice to us and Israel.
Calm everybody down, help mediate negotiations, and keep the oil flowing smoothly.
Twist a few Israeli arms and make them understand they need to allow a Palestinian state.
Impose sanctions on Israel and cut off their aid until they make genuine peace.
Nuke the Jews first, then the Ay-rabs.
(No arm-twisting. Definitely cut off aid. The free market should control the oil flow.)
7) Is the media biased?
Blatantly. Their frequent lack of support for the President indicates a corrupt anti-American leftist bias.
Blatantly. The spread of "fair and balanced" Faux News-ism is turning the whole broadcast industry into an extention of talk radio hate propaganda.
Nah. It balances out.
It does seem reluctant to challenge the established power structure.
That's "Are the media biased", you ungrammatical buffoon.
8) Global warming, pollution, endangered species... What do we do for our poor planet?
Environmentalism is a farrago of lies created by enemies of America who want us all to starve and freeze in the dark.
There's a simple answer to ending dependence on oil: plutonium breeder reactors.
Establish colonies on other planets, then turn the Earth into a big nature preserve.
Bring corporate privilege and corruption under control; hold people accountable for harm they do to the environment.
Ban industry. Starve and freeze in the dark.
9) Ronald Reagan was:
a visionary leader who left an indelible stamp on history.
the hero who saved the world.
a senile puppet.
just another unwitting tool of the One World Government conspiracy.
the best thing we could have had, because the way he impoverished the working classes brought eventual Socialist revolution much closer.
"Congratulations, you're a swing voter. When they say 'Soccer Mom', they mean you. Every Democratic ad on the TV set was made just for your viewing enjoyment. Don't you feel special?"